i know im not old enough to talk about this, but im not young though. if u are one of my blog follower since 2006... u gonna know what's my perception towards life, people, reality and the ugly truth. so please get offended of personal on this. and big thanks to my fellow friends and families who always being supportive and kind to me all this while.
i know best what i want in life honey,
because i been through bad, difficult, harsh moment in life since young. i know how it feels, i know how others judge me, i know why they judge me.
yes, i was angry, i have alot of hates inside !! i hate those bitch on my family, i hate those stay away, and avoid my family because we were so poor and it doesnt bring any good to others if they stay close. i hate everyone who didnt help, i hate everyone who didnt be understanding.
well, all this doesnt do me any good, it make me upset and im not a cool person all the time. but im kind of good now, better i supposed. im really, truely glad and im thankful to all of them who contribute the chaos, the trouble, the shit to me instead. they're the one who help me tuned and adjusted my perception, well, books help alot as well. these people in my life, they're my true motivation dude ! and because of all these ugly truth in reality, i learnt well, and still learning. huray !! better than any thing, this is a gift from life, from God !
i know best what i want in life,
because im the one behold my own destiny.
this end up i know what i want in life, which u cant blame me. im realistic, im materialistic because i get stress easily. and of course, i dislike to have nor go through stress moment any more. just dont like it, im sure no one like it any way. im enjoying my current life, i like it alot because i work for it, i contented with my plan. life is always like that, u need short term plan as well as long term plan to have a better life, to make things work. this is what im trying to work out for the future. please be understanding.
when i met u, im glad, im happy. i want to feel good and joyful everyday.
i know its hard, i know its frustrating to stick to the plan. my plan to be actually, which i know its not romantic. i love romance too, who doesnt??? !! but i prefer to sort things out first. this is me, im a very rational and with patience, this is my way of dealing with life. i wish i could forget and dont give a fuck to every thing, and then.... what next? to commit a serious relationship and grow old together is not about the first few years, its gonna be a very long period of time. if dont give a fuck now, sooner or later the problems may or may not come back. why not sort it out now? and be a good planner?
i really want things can work out, and have better plan, make life easier in our future. i know it drives u crazy because im a rational person and it seems like im not loving, which i dont know how to re-explain why i have to be rational and patience all the time. please be understanding and cope with me. i want it to be forever, long term instead of being romatic, without good planning. thati call it uncertain..never gonna know what gonna happen, which will easily kick start my anxiety. sorry about it, but its true.
life is a bitch, reality is not romantic, so am i ~~