Saturday, July 18, 2009

i missed....

i was thinking the other what's my short plan for next year...2010.

as i mention i dont like to plan ahead.. cos everything is changing from time to time. in order dont stress myself, i choose not to plan ahead, cos no point doing it. but i prefer...... let's have an idea for short plan, just within months or max a year. easy, and dont really have to wait for that long...

still here struggling because.... to be frank, im really greedy.
i want to keep more money, in order i can buffer my self for months when i back for good. quit my job means no income, no income means who's gonna pay for the bills.

okay, can get a job any how with my biotech degree. but.... i need time to look for a job. and time may be range from one month to 6 months long. if i have a rotten luck... 6 months may not have income... i dont want to just spend money by not earning any cent. its a big NO NO for me, cos i dont allow myself with the status "jobless", unless i have atleast some saving to buffer a bit.

with this greed... i missed so many things back home, and too i ended up with unhealthy life.

missed chinese new year;

missed all the family's occasion;

missed all friend's wedding dinner;

missed every one birthday party;

missed christmas celebration..... etc

with this job. i work no day no night, sleeping disorder, as well as crazy gastritis... hmm. it this all worth.... serious i doubt it sometimes when im emotional weak.

when im strong enough i will brain wash myself again and again and said its worth... cos im greedy!

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