Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008
i was reading quite a number of blogs, articles, news….. is it because of all these stuffs, i started to revise a little and compare what actually happened and happening… of course, things always have bad and good. and i try to dont give a sh*t about the bad, sound irresponsible huh? but i dont care!!! i just want to be happy, by not wasting time.
when i closed my eyes, my heart is pounding… i wonder why? im not under medication, im not scared, im not even thinking .. emm. am i under stress?? no, i dont think so..work is kindda relaxing as compare to pharma.
well, i started to turn on music to relax a little, it wont work much. but some times it helps. so its not about music. i switched off the light….. same. but im affraid of dark….damn it!! so i dimmed the light. okay better, look romantic.. hahah. but what for!!! hahha. i tried on lavender aroma theraphy… i helps in the beginning.. and im immune to it. sighhh. i tried on warm milk…. not working!! make me feel hungry and get up to cook supper for myself. its fattening!!!
actually the most effective and efficient way is wine and medications… but i always try to avoid it. i was rely on it before, cos medication makes me stupid and forgetful. so i stopped because i did witness a terrified incident. that caused me to make up my mind by not taking medicines to sleep any more.
some ppl told me they see/ think about someone. okay that’s true. nothing to comment about.
i see nothing when i closed my eyes. cos im trying hard to force myself to fall asleep.. ahah